A Post War College:
That the Southern Yooth May Be Properly Trained

 CONFEDRIT X ROADS 
(wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky), 
December 9, 1866

SQUARE Gavitt, Deekin Pogram, Captain McPelter, and myself wuz in the Post Offis last nite, wich, next to Bascom's, hez got to be the cheef resort uv the leading intellex uv the Corners, a talkin over matters and things, when the Deekin happened to menshun that next week his second son, Elijer, who hez intelleck into him, was a goin to start for Michigan to enter a college.  

Wat sed I do yoo perpose to send that noble yooth, Elijer Pogram, to a Ablishn State, to enter a Ablishn college, to suck his knollege from a Ablishn mother? Good Heavens! Frailty, thy name is woman."  

[I hedn't any ijee that this last remark wuz appropos, but it sounds well, and I hev notist that it don't make much difference wat the cotashun is, so ez yoo end a remark with a cotashun.]

The Deekin remarked that it wuz painful; but Elijer must hev a ejucashen. He didn"t bleeve in it generally speekin. The common people wuz better off without it, ez ejucashen hed a tendency to unsettle their minds. He hed seen the evil effex uv it in niggers and poor whites. So soon ez a nigger masters the spellin book and gits into noosepapers, he becomes dissatisfied with his condishn, and hankers after a better cabin and more wages. He two-wunst begins to insist onto ownin land hisself, and givin his children ejucashen, and, ez a nigger, for our purposes, ain't worth a soo markee.